First bike ride of 2014

Decided its time I start moving this body outside of turning over in bed. Here goes my first bike ride of 2014. 

UPDATE #1:

Well that sucks. Made it as far as w170th street and Jesup Ave when I had my first collapse. I had no idea the Bronx had so many hills going west towards University Ave. Got off the bike, leaned it against some parade barricades and tried to gracefully crumbled to the ground.  I can imagine all I needed was an empty coffee cup to complete the perfect image. Some Jehovah's Witnesses walked past me with a look that I was beyond saving. 

Oh well, time to push on towards my second collapse. Stay tuned...

UPDATE #2:

Initially, I set out to find the best route towards the Washington Bridge (not the George Washington Bridge, mind you) so I could then cross over to the Upper West Side of Manhattan and continue on 181st Street towards Riverside Drive. All this so I can find a way to take a ride on the Hudson River Greenway which spans from near Dyckman Avenue all the way down South Ferry. 

But when I finally managed to reach the entrance to the Washington Bridge, I noticed two things: an alarmingly escalated heart rate followed by a suddenly decreasing will to live. As I contemplated what to do, I took a look at the time and realized I was up against the clock. My car was parked on the wrong side of the street and I had to return before I'd get a summons. I guess I can say that alternate side parking rules saved my life today. :)

Ah well, they'll be other days to tempt a heart attack. 

Update #3:

No, not a collapse update but decided to take a pic while stopped at a red light on E. Tremont Ave and Grand Concourse. 

Update #4:

Pic while waiting at the light on E. Tremont and 3rd Avenue. Almost home. 

Final Update:

Was so happy to finally arrive at my block that my apartment building looked like a giant pillow that I just wanted to crash my bike into. Overall, the trip only took 1.5 hours but according to Cyclemeter, I only traveled a little over 5 miles. Embrassing! When I used to ride to work, it would take me between 45-55 minutes for the same distance. Granted, it's a route with 1, maybe 2 inclines to deal with but the Bronx is like a mini San Fransisco with all these damn hills. 

Anyway, I have much work to do to get back to my riding ways. At least I'm not as bad as when I first got the bike 5-6 years ago and on my first ride crashed into a parked car. O_O

Maria tells me that I just have to start slow again but to do it everyday. She's right but I don't think my ass can take all that abuse. I definitely need to buy padded bike shorts. I already have a granny seat and that's not enough. :)

Also a bike mount for my iPhone. There are a few options on Amazon that I'm looking into. Maybe someone can throw some recommendations my way. 

Thanks for following along on this *cough* ride *cough* ;)